


But Words Will Never Harm Me

by MerMagicAnaLily



Series: Love is Pain [3]
Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: But it’ll be happy, Comfort, Hurt, Love, M/M, New York, Part 3, it’s sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:22:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22597006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerMagicAnaLily/pseuds/MerMagicAnaLily
Summary: “Are you sure about this?”“Cyrus, relax, it’s nothing major,” T.J. said. “We’re just doing some college tours.”“Yeah, but the places scouting you out for basketball tend to be in pretty red states…and lots of red states hate the fact that a guy like you can like a guy like me…”“You mean another guy?”“Yeah…”T.J. chuckled a little and pulled Cyrus in for a hug, kissing the head. “I already made up my mind on where to go. My dad just thinks that I’ll have a more competitive edge if the schools up here see me visiting other schools who are interested in my basketball playing ability.”
Relationships: Buffy Driscoll/Marty, Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen
Series: Love is Pain [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1497239
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	But Words Will Never Harm Me

**Author's Note:**

> More procrastination on my end!!! But I had to get this out there because two is an awkward number for a series. Now, Y’all, I love Kudos. And I mean I LOVE THEM!!! But you want to make me smile for a week? COMMENT!!!! Guests can comment, people who have accounts can comment, and I speak a ton of languages, so I bet you that I can read most comments you’d post in your native language! 
> 
> I’M BEGGING ON MY KNEES! PLEASE! COMMENT! IF YOU KUDOS! PLEASE COMMENT ALONGSIDE IT!

“Are you sure about this?”

“Cyrus, relax, it’s nothing major,” T.J. said. “We’re just doing some college tours.”

“Yeah, but the places scouting you out for basketball tend to be in pretty red states…and lots of red states hate the fact that a guy like you can like a guy like me…”

“You mean another guy?”

“Yeah…”

T.J. chuckled a little and pulled Cyrus in for a hug, kissing the head. “I already made up my mind on where to go. My dad just thinks that I’ll have a more competitive edge if the schools up here see me visiting other schools who are interested in my basketball playing ability.”

“I’d be more at ease if there weren’t actual pictures of us all over the news for being victims of extreme hate violence,” Cyrus said, pressing himself against T.J.’s chest. “That, plus the fact that all three sets of our parents moved to escape the hatred…”

“I’m only going on the college tour for four days,” he said. “I’ll be on the move the whole time, and we scoped out that the hotels are high in security as well as being LGBT friendly in safe areas, so I should be good. But I’ll still text you every day…every hour…every minute if you want me to.”

“Every few hours should be fine,” Cyrus said with a laugh. “But I’ll miss you so much…”

“I’ll miss you too,” he said, kissing him. “Four days, and since Andi and Buffy are coming tonight…”

“Don’t try to think that you can pawn off my worry and longing for you on my two best friends. Especially since you’re taking Marty and meeting up with Jonah before you guys come back up here…you don’t think Buffy’s also going to be drowning in ice cream with worry and longing?”

“I think she’ll try to cover it up by calling it an ice cream eating competition,” he said with a smirk. “I’ve got to go…”

“No…”

“Babe, come on…”

“But you’re also so warm and cuddly…”

“You dork,” T.J. laughed and kissed him again, escaping the hug and grabbing his bag. “I love you, I’ll text you, and I’ll miss you.” 

“I love you and I’ll miss you too,” Cyrus said, smiling a little sadly as he watched T.J. walk out the front door and into the taxi where Marty was already waiting. 

* * *

“I get it, you love T.J.,” Buffys sighed. “But you haven’t seen us in, like, a month in person.”

“I’m sorry guys,” Cyrus said, putting his phone down. “But he’s in Alabama! Alabama! Of all places!” 

“Not everyone is homophobic in Alabama,” Andi said. 

“Not everyone is homophobic in Midwest either,” he sighed. “He told me there’s nothing to worry about, but then he mumbles in his sleep. Not about when he was beat up, but when I was…”

“It’s a hugely traumatic event,” Buffy said. “Two hugely traumatic events, and almost a third one if you count what they were saying about Marty on the message boards.” 

“Which justifies my T.J. in Alabama worries,” he said. “Especially since a picture of the two of us together is his lock screen.”

“It’s your lock screen too,” Andi said, holding up the phone. 

“And I’m in the gayest neighborhood in New York…well…kinda. I’m a fifteen minute train ride from the gayest neighborhood in New York. It’s close to where Stonewall is, which T.J. and I were able to convince them to let us buy some root beers in shot glasses for the fun of it, and even a place called Big Gay Ice Cream…which is absolutely amazing! I’m so taking you guys there tomorrow! They covered my entire cone with chocolate covered marshmallows!”

“I’m not gonna lie, that does sound amazing!” Andi said with a little laugh.

“Even though I’m straight as a needle?” Buffy asked.

“Ice cream, gay or otherwise, is for everyone,” Cyrus said. “Plus when the news of the basketball slash baseball player and his boyfriend who got heavily assaulted a few months apart got in the news, they gave me and T.J. free shirts.” 

“Traumatic memories equal free t-shirts? What do you think ‘secret baby’ will get me?” Andi joked.

“A new hit show on MTV?” Buffy said with a little laugh. 

“Good lord that’s the last thing my family needs. We already check off most other boxes,” she laughed. 

“And I think Bex is past the cutoff age for 16 and pregnant?”

“Well, Bowie could be on, ‘I didn’t know I had a 13 year old!’” Cyrus joked. “Or Andi could start a show called ‘My Sister is My Mom!’” 

“How about I just sell you the film rights and you change all of our names, Cyrus?”

“Deal. We’ll both be very rich,” he said. 

“Oh, and I’ll be left out?”

“Of course not! Someone needs to advise the sports parts of our movie. Since you’re going to be in it too.”

“You know what? Fair.”

“Oh please skip over all that me and Jonah stuff in the movie!” Andi begged. “That was a headache for everyone involved.”

“And miss out on iconic lines like ‘I’m the secret baby, my sister is my mother, my mother is my grandmother, and AMBER is WEARING my BRACELET!’ That was the best reveal in all of cinematic history,” Cyrus said. 

“Only if we include your crush on him too,” she quipped.

“Ooh, hard bargain...I’ll consider it.” 

“I am so glad I’m not involved in that specific aspect of drama. No Jonah Beck problems in my past or my future,” Buffy said with a laugh. Soon all the phones chirped in the group chat and Cyrus looked to see that Marty had sent them all a video of Jonah, struggling to carry his suitcase while Marty and T.J. were cackling in the background. 

_ “Tell the others what happened JB.” _

_ Jonah groaned. “I pulled my suitcase from the conveyor belt onto the floor too quickly.” _

_ “So…?” T.J.'s face appeared in the corner, completely red from laughing.  _

_ “So all the wheels broke off my suitcase.” He adjusted his grip, wobbling slightly. “Please help me! This thing is heavy!” _

_ “I’m too busy filming this.”  _

_ “Marty! Come on!” _

The video cut out and Buffy was already on her back dying of laughter. “How does he break everything?! I swear that boy has broken world records with his luck!”

“Now I feel bad for him,” Cyrus said, laughing a little. “I’ll buy him a new suitcase.”

“Cyrus, you’re too kind to the boy.”

“Consider it an apology that my boyfriend and his best friend will most likely spend hours laughing at him struggling with a heavy suitcase rather than help,” he said, opening up the Amazon app on his phone. 

* * *

“I still can’t believe you get tickets so cheap!” Andi said, linking her right arm with Cyrus. Buffy linked her arm on the other side, both of them holding on to him because they missed him, as well as using him to steady themselves on cracked sidewalks while they wore heels. 

“T.J. and I go all the time. Marty sometimes joins in on the funny ones, like Book of Mormon or Percy Jackson,” he said. “We found it easier and cheaper to sign up to be, like, season pass holders. We also get seats all the way in the back, as well as the occasional student rush, and all those bits and pieces add up eventually. And tonight, this was the ticket available.”

“What is it?”

“It’s called Bent. I’ve heard it’s amazing, but also horrible and sad.”

“How is it amazing and horrible?” Andi asked. 

“Amazingly written, acted, and poignant, but also really depressing and sad. But not to worry ladies, tomorrow we’re seeing Mean Girls to cheer ourselves up.” He brought them to the door and pulled out the tickets, showing it to the usher who led them to their seats. Buffy grabbed a playbill and read it. 

“World War Two and the Holocaust...I think I immediately understand what you mean.”

“Yeah. Seems that humanity loves making art from tragedy,” he said, flipping over the playbill. “I didn’t actually do much research about the play tonight, only reading a couple of reviews. I like going in without too many expectations and just...experiencing it.”

* * *

Cyrus regretted not doing more research about the play. Normally, he was fine with Holocaust media. He’d be sad, and wonder about the ancestors he lost, the stories that were quelled, but he could normally simultaneously appreciate the beauty of the production. This one was too hard. 

When he saw the playbill was about the Holocaust, he prepared himself for some tears and profound questions that would dance around his head after the production, but the instant that the characters were presented as gay, his heart fell into the pit of his stomach. The feeling of dread kept mounting, and then one of them was taken off stage and beaten and Cyrus had to get up from between Andi and Buffy and head outside. 

******

_ “Cyrus, you need to stop looking at that Reddit page.” Cyrus looked up and saw T.J. at the end of his hospital bed, trying to get through the worksheet Buffy brought him from his Algebra 2 class.  _

_ “Teej, they have everything...things I didn’t even know they could have,” he said. “All the clubs we’re involved in, our addresses…they even know where you work.” _

_ “Yeah…yeah I know that last one,” he sighed, putting his book down for a bit and gesturing for Cyrus to come closer. He scooted forward, hugging the hoodie he had stolen from T.J.’s duffle bag around him. “Some parents pulled their kids out. They wrote cards and stuff to me saying that they do support me and think that everything the Jackson High kids are doing are horrible...but the address of the gym was on these pages. They were worried for their own kids. Not like I could even blame them.” _

_ “I shouldn’t have kissed you on the court,” Cyrus said, quietly, and T.J.’s head snapped up.  _

_ “No way. I love the court side kisses. They make losing bearable and winning all the better. Please, never think that kissing me, or reminding me how lucky I am that you’re my boyfriend is a bad thing.” _

_ Cyrus looked down but scooted closer to T.J. “I’m probably luckier that you’re my boyfriend. Handsome, not-so-scary, a great musician…” T.J. laughed a little bit. “Dreamy…yeah, you’re a pretty amazing boyfriend.” _

_ A nurse knocked on the door before coming in. “Hi, I just need to check in on your bruises and administer some of your medicine, Mr. Goodman. Do you want to be alone for this?” _

_ “When have I ever said I did, Nurse Sanders?” He said with a chuckle, and pulled off the sweatshirt, making T.J. wince at all the black and blue on his skin, hidden by the hoodie, especially trying to keep his eyes off the giant bruise wrapping around his neck. Instead, Cyrus just reached out and held his hand, letting the phone with the Reddit page disappear in the sheets.  _

******

“Cyrus?” Buffy came out and saw him sitting on the floor against the wall and she got on her knees next to him, Andi following close behind before kneeling on his other side. “Do you need to talk?”

“There’s not much to talk about,” he said, using his tie to wipe the excess tears from his eyes. “You guys know all of it.”

“Was it, like, a trigger?” Andi asked. 

“Kind of...it didn’t make me flash back to the events exactly, but...that scene was too familiar. Make it modern day and make all the officers idiot high school kids…we both went through it…”

“I can’t imagine what you went through,” Buffy said, taking his hand. “But I saw what both of you looked like coming out. It...it wasn’t okay, to say the least. When your parents called us...we were so scared, especially hearing what exactly happened from Amber…”

“Cece and I lit a candle that night, just...I don’t know,” Andi said. “I’m not sure if we were praying, or just sending healing vibes to you, or just holding each other’s hands so tightly we almost broke them…but we were so scared for you.”

“You guys would have been fine. I mean, you are fine,” Cyrus said. “Not that I’m contemplating anything, if you’re worried about that. I’m not. I’m never.”

“Good,” Buffy said. “But...we’re fine because you’re fine now. Because we can text you any second we want and get almost instant confirmation that you’re fine, even if you are a teeny bit far away. But…seeing you in the hospital was really scary.”

“You didn’t look me in the eyes,” he said. “You kept staring at my hand.”

“It was the least bruised part of you. Only slightly scraped up, and the part I could pretend happened because you tried skateboarding again or something. Looking at your eyes...your face...it was too close to your neck.”

Cyrus ran his hand subconsciously around the collar of his shirt. “Took me four months to be able to put on a tie without hyperventilating. T.J. had to put it on me while facing me for my body to not immediately want to throw up.” 

“I just looked at your hair,” Andi said. “Your hair was the only undamaged part about you. Other than that they only had cheap shampoo so it was less shiny than usual.”

“Yeah…that really was bad shampoo,” he said with a chuckle. “Worst part of the hospital experience.” 

They cracked small smiles and squeezed his hands. “You know,” Buffy said. “We don’t have to go back in. We can go to insomnia cookies and log into Disney+. I saw Toy Story 4 is finally there?”

“That...sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all night.” 

* * *

T.J. looked at the giant block of text that Cyrus sent while trying to avoid the pillow war Jonah and Marty were engaged in. Cyrus was explaining the show he ended up ducking out of early of the show and a worried look fell over his face. 

“Hey, dude,” Marty flopped down on the bed and looked up at T.J. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah...yeah, Cyrus just got really emotionally drawn into a show. Basically homophobia meets the Holocaust.”

“Sounds like a bundle of fun,” he said sarcastically. “How are you doing?”

“I mean, I’m fine. The courts here are cool and the schools are nice and all, but…” 

“But?” Marty looked up and Jonah flopped on his other side to look at him. 

“Cyrus would never come here. And the churches that had ‘Remember, Homosexuality is a Sin’ plastered all over their boards…It’s fine for a visit...but people still think like that, and I couldn’t be open here. I like being open…”

******

_ T.J. looked at his face in the handheld mirror, groaning as his foot shifted slightly in the sling. He had washed it off, the nurses even helped with giving him more face wash and soap and washing it several times over for him, but he couldn’t help but run his fingers over his cheek, still seeing the words like they were carved into his face rather than written on sloppily with a sharpie. Die Faggot. _

_ “Teej? Brought you some baby taters from The Spoon,” Cyrus cam in and sat at the edge of the bed, opening the styrofoam container. “I even brought the incorrect dipping sauce for you,” he said, digging out a couple of mayo packets from his jacket, and bringing a smile to his face.  _

_ “Thanks Cy. I know this was hard for you,” he teased, opening a packet of mayo and squirting it on one end of the styrofoam container while Cyrus opened a packet of ketchup over the other. “At least we both agree that Mayochup is absolutely disgusting.” _

_ “Oh one hundred percent,” he said with a laugh, dipping a baby tater in the ketchup and eating it. “How are you feeling?” _

_ “Ready to run a marathon. A la Buffy, of course,” he deadpanned, and Cyrus frowned. “I’m doing better. I promise.” He didn’t even think when running his fingers over his cheek again. Cyrus noticed and grabbed his hand, holding it.  _

_ “Did you see yourself? Like...how you looked after the fact?” _

_ He sighed. “A bit. I was kind of in and out of it, but I saw a bit. Marty’s the one who saw how I was and…he’s been texting me ‘get better’ memes every day to cheer me up.”  _

_ “Sounds like a good friend.” _

_ “Yeah...I was an idiot for overlooking him in middle school. I was an idiot overall in middle school,” he said.  _

_ “It’s in the past. You’re a better person now,” Cyrus said. “If only more people could grow to be better people…” _

_ “Don’t even think about them,” he said. “I already filed police reports. They’re doing everything they can now.” _

_ “Okay…at least I know that you’re going to be okay.” Cyrus said.  _

_ “Of course I will be. I have you.”  _

******

“Teej? You okay?” Jonah asked, and T.J. shook his head before looking at him. 

“Fine...just...memories, y’know.” 

“You sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah, Yeah. I got over most of my problems back when it happened. Just some pesky memories won’t leave me alone now.”

“Alright, if you’re sure,” Marty said. “All I know is I can’t wait until we get this next college done tomorrow so we can go and reunite with Buffy and Andi. Jonah’s only a fun novelty for a few hours.”

“Hey!”

* * *

“I thought the boys weren’t coming back until tomorrow,” Andi frowned. 

“Well, technically yes,” Cyrus said, setting up the air mattresses for the others and attempting to adjust them around the room he and T.J. shared. “They’re coming back just after midnight, so they might be exhausted, but I still say that’s enough energy to watch some movies on the projector.”

“Which is why you have tabs on your laptop open for Hulu, Netflix, Amazon Prime, Disney +... I think the shorter answer would be which streaming service you don’t have,” Buffy said. 

“Disney and Netflix are mine, Hulu and Amazon Prime are T.J. and Marty’s,” He said. “Which means we basically get to watch anything we want. It’s pretty great.” 

“Broadway shows...gay neighborhoods...all the streaming services you want,” She said, looking through the keepsake box Cyrus had of all of his ticket stubs. “Do you even miss Shadyside?”

“What?! Of course I do Buffy!” He said. “I grew up there...I met you guys there. I met T.J. there. I love Shadyside.”

“You just…you haven’t really mentioned it at all since we arrived here.”

“Yeah…well it’s not because I don’t love it.”

******

_ “Cyrus, it’s okay...you’re okay…” T.J. was stroking back his hair as he clutched a bucket, shivering after he threw up into it. “I don’t have to talk about it...we can go back and watch something dumb on my iPad-“ _

_ “No...no T.J...I need to know,” he said.  _

_ “You don’t. It’s just...it’s cruel, and they’re idiots on steroids…” _

_ “I need to know what you faced,” he said. “Because I need to know what they’re capable of...what they can do to me…” _

_ T.J.’s face grew hard and determined. “They won’t do anything to you. They won’t lay a damn finger on you. If they even thing about it, I’ll-“ _

_ “Stop,” he took his hand and squeezed it. “Just...just stop. No scary-basketball-boy. None of that. I want you to be with me, to be honest with me...as my boyfriend, my T.J., my Thelonious Jagger,” he said firmly. “I need to know what they did to you…what’s still possible in this horrible world that’s supposed to be better.” _

_ “Cyrus, I didn’t even get out of the bathroom in my story and you already threw up.” _

_ “And I’ll probably throw up until the end,” he said. “And then I’ll drink some tea, eat some toast, and then hold your hand the entire time while you heal physically and go back to your basketball playing stardom.” He said. “Because I’m here with you, through it all. Now…they beat you up in the bathroom...what happened next?” _

******

“I think about Shadyside every day,” he said. “I wish I could remember just the good things, forget the bad things…”

“Cyrus…”

“I was scared since the girl’s game against Jackson High,” he said. “When T.J. was in the hospital. Like, I used to joke about dying a lot, even though I’ve never been and never will be suicidal…but that day, that day was the first day I actually worried about dying for real.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine that,” Andi said. 

“My mom always told me to be careful…even though she's in the military, she even told me to be careful around cops because some of them only see one thing and they have power to hold over you…” Buffy said. “But when we went to the hospital that night, when I saw the state of his Jeep that you drove out of the parking lot, It was a rude wake-up call that anyone can hold even the smallest amount of power over you, and they’ll do whatever they can to exploit it, and some will use it to hurt you.”

“The worst are the ones who nobody would think have any power over you,” Cyrus said. “But they do. Like straight jocks from a school forty minutes away...they believed that they had the power to dictate T.J.’s life and death because of one kiss. They thought the same thing because of that kiss, and only got angrier when I cursed in Yiddish. They look for hatred in anything.”

Andi was quiet, looking down. “I never thought about how lucky I really am. That I never had to think about these things. I mean…I’ve had my fair share of insults because I’m the result of a teen pregnancy…and a few of the ‘good’ stereotypes because I’m Asian, but I never feared for my life.”

“I don’t really,” Buffy said. “My mom just warns me because of the news.”

“I never did until T.J...and I still relive dreams from when they came after me,” Cyrus said. Then he shook his head. “I don’t wanna think about that! I moved away! I’m safe now, I’m generally happy, and a million times happier now that you guys are going to spend the whole break up here with us!” He said giving them a hug. “I wish I could just kidnap you two to spend the rest of our lives up in my aunt’s house here in New York.”

“That does sound amazing,” Andi said. “But I love SAVA. Tell you what, I’ll apply to New York colleges. How about that?”

“I suppose I could do that too,” Buffy said with a small smile. 

“Okay, here’s the plan. We all go to NYU, split a giant apartment together, and live off of Ramen while we both embrace and live in denial of our adulthood,” Cyrus said, and everyone laughed. 

“Best plan yet, Cy.”

* * *

“If I see another red baseball hat with the forbidden words, I will face God and walk backwards into the sun,” Marty groaned. “I’m so glad to be out of the south.”

“Yeah...it’s official. I don’t care how good at sports they are...they could offer to let me go to school for free AND pay me, and I still wouldn’t do it,” T.J. said. “I’m not spending a second longer in the closet.”

“And I’m not de-transitioning.”

“Well,” Jonah said. “I’m just not going to leave you guys alone. So...I guess we’re all going to northern schools.”

“Jonah, you don’t have to go where we go,” Marty said. 

“Yeah, I do. Because it’s not worth going somewhere for the money if I know I wouldn’t be happy,” Jonah said. “Especially if it’s somewhere where my best friends wouldn’t feel safe.”

“Awww, you really are a sweetheart,” Marty said, ruffling his hair. The three of them were in the taxi headed back to the house, surrounded by goodie bags for T.J. from the schools as well as the suitcases in the trunk, including Jonah’s new suitcase Cyrus surprised him with, though he insisted T.J. lug it around so it wouldn’t break and he took all the small goodie bags instead. 

“Yeah yeah,” he chuckled, fixing his hair. “Honestly half of me just expects to see Shadyside outside these windows instead of this place.”

“Yeah?” T.J. asked. 

“You keep talking about ‘almost home.’ I’ve only been up here a handful of times. And normally when you talked about home, it was Shadyside before.” 

T.J. sighed and looked out the window. “Yeah…but like most good things in life, people had to come in and ruin it.”

******

_ Cyrus snored lightly when he slept, and he also was the kind to wrap his body around T.J., not that he would complain. He simply just adjusted himself in the too small hospital bed and adjusted the hoodie Cyrus was wearing, kissing the top of his head. Cyrus had been stealing all of his hoodies that came in and wearing them to cover up all the bruises and cuts he had, not that T.J. blamed him. He just wished there wasn’t a heartbreaking reason behind Cyrus wanting to wear hoodies bigger than him.  _

_ He felt another soft snore and T.J. hugged him slightly tighter, looking up at the muted T.V. In the room playing some random old 90’s sitcom on Nick at Nite. He didn’t care what was playing, what his parents would say when they came to visit, and he only half paid attention to what options the nurses gave him at the cafeteria, making sure the rules followed Kosher style, the way Cyrus liked it. But he didn’t care about any of that. He just thought of the boys that jumped Cyrus a few days ago, the ones who bruised him and marked him up, and his blood boiled.  _

_ “Teej…” Cyrus stirred and T.J. immediately went into a conforming mode.  _

_ “Babe, you shouldn’t talk…the doctors said your voice-“ _

_ “Sleep,” he said softly. “With me...You should sleep too.. with me.” _

_ “I have a hard time sleeping when you’re hurt,” he admitted.  _

_ “Then remember that we can sleep because it’s safe,” he whispered, curling in closer. “We’re safe...and loved.”  _

******

“I’m glad you guys are at least happy here,” Jonah said. “And I’ll come visit you anytime I can. And I’ll do it more often this next year. Promise.”

T.J. was about to reply when Marty jumped up. “HOME!” He all but broke the car door down when the taxi pulled into the driveway and T.J. saw three figures come out of the house in brightly colored pajamas. He saw Marty run over to Buffy and pick her up, twirling her around. He saw Andi go over and greet him with Jonah running behind, but soon his vision of them blurred, and his gaze focused on Cyrus, smiling happily in green pajamas and rushing over to hug him. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” he said smiling. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” he said softly. “It’s okay…I’m safe.”

* * *

Buffy and Marty were the first to fall asleep to the movie, some cheesy rom-com they found on Netflix. Honestly, Cyrus didn’t even understand how they could look like pretzels from the reject pile and still be comfortable enough to sleep. Even Andi and Jonah got in on the cuddling action and though both swore off dating each other, they were still quite affectionate with each other. So they saw Andi asleep on Jonah’s chest, both of them breathing eagerly. 

“How was it?” Cyrus asked softly. 

“The campus tours and interviews were fine. A few MAGA hats dotted campus, some churches outside of campus spread the myth that God hates gays…basically what you’d expect. But, nobody seemed physically harmful.”

“Good,” Cyrus drew out patterns on the arm T.J. had around him. “So...final decision?”

“I went to just see what it was like. I’m not planning on going. Our plan still stands. Staying up north. Happy, free, and open.”

“I like that,” he said with a smile, then dropping it. “Buffy asked me why I never talk about Shadyside.”

“Oh…what did you say?”

“That…the bad memories made it hard to think about. That I faced death there.”

“Yeah…” T.J. said. “But…there’s some happy memories there too. I can think of my favorite, at least…”

******

_ “Legs go up, legs go down, That's how we make the swing go 'round.” T.J. recognized the voice. It was the voice of the boy who needed his help at lunch. Buffy’s friend. “Drag your feet, you go slow, The more you drag, the less you go.” He made his way over, watching the kid swing a little while singing softly. “Legs go up-” _

_ “Nice song,” he said interrupting, putting his stuff down next to the poles of the swing. “What do you sing when you're on the slide?” _

_ “We go down, we say "yay" We don't climb up, that's the wrong way.” _

_ “Huh,” he controlled his urge to laugh. He didn’t want to insult him by accident. “Did not expect you'd have a song for that. Chocolate chocolate chip muffin, right?” he pointed at him, but of course, he knew who he was.  _

_ “Scary basketball guy,” he pointed back. T.J. tried not to wince. Is that what people really thought of him? _

_ “Actually, T.J.” _

_ “I know,” he said with a friendly smile. “Cyrus.” _

_ T.J. smiled. Cyrus, that was a name he wasn’t going to forget anytime soon. _

******

“Nice memory,” Cyrus said. “But I’ve got a better one…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Is there anything you want to know?”

T.J. chuckled and smiled down at him. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus smiled. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Yes,” T.J. said, and leaned down and kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.


End file.
